“You are always staring at the ground!” “What you got?” Detectorists and Rockhounds – Lyrical Musings

There are a lot of similarities between rockhounds and detectorists. Both are always looking for “treasure”. Both pursuits have solitary aspects to them, though they are often undertaken with a mate. Both have their own clubs, though they rarely thrive (though New Zealand rockhounds have some exceptions to this). Both have their own technical languages and seemingly arcane knowledge. Both involve passions and obsessions not understood by others. And the list could go on.

I really enjoyed watching the British comedy programme “Detectorists”. It was written and directed by the brilliant Mackenzie Crook, who also plays a leading role alongside Toby Jones. The programme revolves around the lives, loves and metal detecting ambitions of Andy and Lance, members of the Danebury Metal Detecting Club of northern Essex. Two of the strengths of the programme are its characters and its humour (including some ribald quips now and then). Below is the trailer for Series One (three series were made), which first aired on BBC Four in 2014 (Warning: Occasional effective use of bad language!):

“Detectorists” is remarkable for its quiet insights into the life of ordinary English people who happen to share an obsession, metal detecting. The detectorists spend hours in the open in all kinds of weather, looking for something that excites them immensely but which they rarely find, while the rest of life passes them by, unnoticed. I think that Robert Lloyd of the “Los Angeles Times” has captured much of the essence of “Detectorists” – “Like the ordinary lives it magnifies, Detectorists has the air of seeming to be small and immense at once, to be about hardly anything and almost everything. It is full of space and packed with life.” Ben Dowell of “The Times” described the show as being “steeped in a gentle kindness that I hadn’t seen before”. (For the source of these quotes and for more details about “Detectorists”, see Wikipedia.) The first two Series are available on Netflix in New Zealand.

The theme song for “Detectorists” was written and sung by Johnny Flynn. This version, on YouTube (see below), has the following lyrics:

Will you search through the loamy earth for me
Climb through the briar and bramble?
I’ll be your treasure

I felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind
I knew the call of all the song birds
They sang all the wrong words
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting for you

Will you swim through the briny sea for me
Roll along the ocean’s floor?
I’ll be your treasure

I’m with the ghosts of the men who can never sing again
There’s a place, follow me
Where a love lost at sea
Is waiting for you
Is waiting for you

Would you drift o’er the rolling fields for me
Hoard me in the highest bough?
I’ll be your treasure

But in history’s rhyme there’s a place and a time
And a truth to the gold that the folds cannot hold
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting for you

I decided to to write a set of alternative lyrics for rockhounds, especially those like me who spend hours on beaches, staring at the ground. It took me a few weeks to put them all together – they are not perfect but I had fun doing them:

Rockhounds

Will you hunt on the stony beach for me
Search through the drifts of pebbles?
I’ll be your treasure

I spied the flash of white Quartz and the grain of Pet Wood*
I saw the hues of all the Quartzites
But waves swept them from my sight
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting for you

Will you wade through the gravel stream for me
Andesite and Jasper seek?
I’ll be your treasure

I’m with the stones just below, you can never let me go
Epidote, Argillite, Serpentine, Rhyolite
Are waiting for you
Are waiting for you

Would you fossick near the pounding waves for me
Hide me in your heavy bag?
I’ll be your treasure

But when you get me back there’s no place to unpack
And your stones are like gold that you have and must hold
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting for you

*Note: “Pet Wood” in rockhound circles is shorthand for “Petrified Wood”.

A search of YouTube reveals bits and pieces from “Detectorists”. For example, there is an extract about the time, right at the end of a day’s detecting, when Lance finally finds a valuable artefact and dances his “gold dance” (rockhounds do this too – decide to stop when it is late in the day, but then just have to search another five minutes in case a “treasure” is sitting there waiting on the next metre or two of beach or ground – and we all have our own idiosyncratic reactions when we finally find “treasure”). At the start of the extract, Andy is telling his friend Sophie that he is going overseas for a year with his wife and baby, taking part in an archeological dig while his wife teaches:

“When in doubt, dig it out!” If it catches your eye, don’t ask why – pick it up!”